Love is. . . .
Love is love; Yogi Bhajan's famous definition is a reminder to me that love has no conditions, no causal relationship, no unique environment. Love is simply love. Today I found a quote from the new Rebirthing manual (it's out!) which tells of the fruits of love in a really beautiful and profound way.
"Love gives you one thing: an understanding of the other person's grace." (c) The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, November 30, 1988
Love takes us beyond ourselves; we look and see the other person. We truly see. Instead of being blinded by our own desires and agendas, we simply see. We see their light, we see the God within them, we see grace--and we experience that grace within ourselves because we love. We love that light and we become one with that light.
To experience love within this sacred space is unlike anything I've ever felt before. There is longing; there is desire; but there is no attachment. Instead, there is a sense of flow, there is an ease, a simplicity, a grace. There is a sense of sahaj, when command and obedience are one; otherwise known as living in hukam.
Love is . . . love. All we have to do is love. Love ourselves. Love each other. Love. And in that loving, understand the grace within everything.
We have a technology in this path called naam simran, which is usually translated, remembering the name of God. In its essence it means vibrating the reality of the Guru, the Truth, in your every waking moment: from the smallest things like smelling a flower, to the repeated things like taking a breath, to the biggest decisions like where to live. Remember the name, remember the name, remember the name becomes an internal rhythm, a way of life, a way of seeing and being in the world that allows each moment to become timeless and sacred. Each moment a hologram of the whole; each moment the seed of the next; each moment an ecstasy of dwelling in the name.
So when my new love sent me flowers and included on the card words more beautiful than the flowers themselves, it seemed too good to be true: beautiful flowers to remind you of the Guru. But there it was--in writing--undeniable. The Guru has brought to me a man who reminds me to bow. For it is in my bowing, my surrender, my naam simran, that I find my equanimity, my peace of mind, my sahaj. And it is in my sahaj that that same man, my love, takes refuge.
The Guru has delivered this man to me; and so the Guru must keep him. I only need to remember the name. Remember to vibrate the name with every breath. Remember to bow. So each night I repeat the hukam that was the seed to all that now flourishes in my heart and in my life. For in repeating the hukam, I remember that everything is in hukam and I relax.
sUhI mhlw 5 ] (737-9)
soohee mehlaa 5.
Soohee, Fifth Mehl:
igRhu vis guir kInw hau Gr kI nwir ] (737-9, sUhI, mÚ 5)
garihu vas gur keenaa ha-o ghar kee naar.
The Giver has put this household of my being under my own control. I am now the mistress of the Lord's Home.
ds dwsI kir dInI Bqwir ] (737-9, sUhI, mÚ 5)
das daasee kar deenee bhataar.
My Husband Lord has made the ten senses and organs of actions my slaves.
sgl smgRI mY Gr kI joVI ] (737-9, sUhI, mÚ 5)
sagal samagree mai ghar kee jorhee.
I have gathered together all the faculties and facilities of this house.
Aws ipAwsI ipr kau loVI ]1] (737-10, sUhI, mÚ 5)
aas pi-aasee pir ka-o lorhee. ||1||
I am thirsty with desire and longing for my Husband Lord. ||1||
kvn khw gun kMq ipAwry ] (737-10, sUhI, mÚ 5)
kavan kahaa gun kant pi-aaray.
What Glorious Virtues of my Beloved Husband Lord should I describe?
suGV srUp dieAwl murwry ]1] rhwau ] (737-10, sUhI, mÚ 5)
sugharh saroop da-i-aal muraaray. ||1|| rahaa-o.
He is All-knowing, totally beautiful and merciful; He is the Destroyer of ego. ||1||Pause||
squ sIgwru Bau AMjnu pwieAw ] (737-11, sUhI, mÚ 5)
sat seegaar bha-o anjan paa-i-aa.
I am adorned with Truth, and I have applied the mascara of the Fear of God to my eyes.
AMimRq nwmu qMbolu muiK KwieAw ] (737-11, sUhI, mÚ 5)
amrit naam tambol mukh khaa-i-aa.
I have chewed the betel-leaf of the Ambrosial Naam, the Name of the Lord.
kMgn bsqR ghny bny suhwvy ] (737-12, sUhI, mÚ 5)
kangan bastar gahnay banay suhaavay.
My bracelets, robes and ornaments beautifully adorn me.
Dn sB suK pwvY jW ipru Gir AwvY ]2] (737-12, sUhI, mÚ 5)
Dhan sabh sukh paavai jaaN pir ghar aavai. ||2||
The soul-bride becomes totally happy, when her Husband Lord comes to her home. ||2||
gux kwmx kir kMqu rIJwieAw ] (737-12, sUhI, mÚ 5)
gun kaaman kar kant reejhaa-i-aa.
By the charms of virtue, I have enticed and fascinated my Husband Lord.
vis kir lInw guir Brmu cukwieAw ] (737-13, sUhI, mÚ 5)
vas kar leenaa gur bharam chukaa-i-aa.
He is under my power - the Guru has dispelled my doubts.
sB qy aUcw mMdru myrw ] (737-13, sUhI, mÚ 5)
sabh tay oochaa mandar mayraa.
My mansion is lofty and elevated.
sB kwmix iqAwgI ipRau pRIqmu myrw ]3] (737-13, sUhI, mÚ 5)
sabh kaaman ti-aagee pari-o pareetam mayraa. ||3||
Renouncing all other brides, my Beloved has become my lover. ||3||
pRgitAw sUru joiq aujIAwrw ] (737-14, sUhI, mÚ 5)
pargati-aa soor jot ujee-aaraa.
The sun has risen, and its light shines brightly.
syj ivCweI srD Apwrw ] (737-14, sUhI, mÚ 5)
sayj vichhaa-ee saraDh apaaraa.
I have prepared my bed with infinite care and faith.
nv rMg lwlu syj rwvx AwieAw ] (737-15, sUhI, mÚ 5)
nav rang laal sayj raavan aa-i-aa.
My Darling Beloved is new and fresh; He has come to my bed to enjoy me.
jn nwnk ipr Dn imil suKu pwieAw ]4]4] (737-15, sUhI, mÚ 5)
jan naanak pir Dhan mil sukh paa-i-aa. ||4||4||
O Servant Nanak, my Husband Lord has come; the soul-bride has found peace. ||4||4||
I have a friend who says she doesn't really trust the friendship until it's been through its first fight and survived. I never really related. Plus you hear that in intimate relationships the fights are worth it just to make up later. That, too, I didn't really understand. In my mind, conflict-free was the ideal.
Then I survived my first real fight in my new relationship and it's been a revelation. I feel closer and more attuned to him that I did before the fight. I trust it--my feelings--more. I trust him more. It's all more real now. He was made to run the gauntlet and he's still standing--and he's still loving. To say I'm impressed is an understatement.
Being able to fight fair is crucial in a relationship. To discern what can be said and what can't; and to be able to stop yourself from saying what should never be said. These are the skills to communicating clearly, consciously and lovingly. It doesn't mean you don't use the sword; a woman's word is her sword. But it means you use it judiciously, carefully, for some words can never be taken back. You use the word to build toward something new--not just tear down something old.
In a new relationship one tends to tread lightly. But then how stable can you be be when you're standing on your tippy toes. When the proverbial rubber meets the road, you begin to see the measure of the man. And in that moment, in his willingness to meet the test, he became a giant. And I'm just enjoying the view, smile.