Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: Fine Versus Fat versus Fabulous

Monday, July 22, 2013

Fine Versus Fat versus Fabulous

In the past few weeks, a couple of friends have said a couple of things that took me back a couple of steps. We all know that weight is a cultural obsession here in the United States. I get that. Okay--fine. But it's become so ingrained, so normalized, that what would have once been pretty rude to say to someone, people seem to not even notice they've said it. I have three fairly recent examples: One, a woman walks up to me and a friend who are in conversation and offers us a plate of black garbanzo beans saying, "Here, you should eat these, they really helped me lose weight." To which I replied, "Are you implying I need to lose weight?" Two, a friend and I are walking together and we see another friend walking her dog. The friend I'm walking with says, "We should really walk your dog together, then we wouldn't be so fat." To which I thought to myself, "I don't feel fat right now, why is she saying that?" Three, a friend leaves me a message about work and then proceeds to offer her services and experience in losing weight with a popular program in our community right now. To which I thought, "F*** Off already! Enough!" 

 I have had a long and seemingly unending relationship to my weight. It goes all the way back to 5th grade, when I was teased at school for having a "balloon butt". It continued through middle school and high school where I was encouraged to join diet programs (expensive diet programs!) or if not on a diet regimen, then had ice cream and other treats physically removed from me with the cry of "You don't need that, you'll get fat!" I'm not going to defend obesity here; it's not good for you and as someone who has struggled with weight and identity for years, I can tell you, it doesn't feel good either. But neither does the constant obsession with our weight. I'm a big girl; I will most likely always be on the larger side of S, M, and L; and I've come to be really okay with that. I enjoy my body; I feel good most days; and I don't hate myself when I look in the mirror any more. But then the culture comes up and bites you on the proverbial ass. And what makes me more upset than anything is that women are doing it to each other--and to ourselves! Stop it already! 

So if you read this and you're a friend of mine, don't suggest a new diet program to me; don't tell me how you lost weight by doing x, y or z; and don't call me, or yourself, FAT! I want no part in that culture any longer. I want to look in the mirror and not just see "fine" and definitely note "fat"; I want to see fabulous! I want to see healthy, happy, and holy. I want to see radiant, beautiful and sexy. I want to see Goddess, Infinite, Invincible Creativity of the Creator. And I want you to start seeing it, too. Wahe Guru!


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