Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: A Post Valentine Cautionary Tale

Saturday, February 15, 2014

A Post Valentine Cautionary Tale

Let me first say that yesterday was the best valentine's day I've ever had. Relaxed, spontaneous, fun followed by full moon, cake and more fun. But I also spent many, many years alone on Valentine's and I know it can be hard. So for all of you out there still praying, still longing, still looking for "the one" here's a cautionary tale just for you: Wanting to be with someone is ubiquitous, the quintessential desire shared by all living beings. I too experienced that longing, for a looooooong time, until I gave it up. But until I gave up the longing, or rather, redirected it toward the infinite, I did everything anyone told me to do in order to attract a mate. I feng shuied my house, I painted my bedroom a horrific pink color, I bought a Krishna, I created vision boards, I wrote lists and put them on my altar, I meditated, I sang, I joined the online sites, I went hiking (terrible idea), I sat in coffee shops for hours, I read every book, I went to therapy, I exercised, I didn’t exercise. There isn’t much I didn’t try until I quit trying. One of the most common practices in our dharma is the recitation of Sopurkh. A part of Rehiras, the evening prayer, women recite it 11 times in order to bring out the God-man in their own man. I don’t want to put anyone off of the practice, but I do think it’s important to know the purpose and the possible effects if practiced outside that purpose. Many women, like myself, practice Sopurkhs in order to call a man into their life. And for many it has worked. For me? Not so much. I practiced Sopurkhs every day for almost a year. I had profound sensory experiences while I practiced it; I felt everything. My body was more alive and attuned than it had ever been. I felt awake in a whole new way. But unfortunately, what I attracted was the same old same old. I was notorious for choosing the wrong guys. It’s a story that’s been told before by so many, so I’ll spare you the details here. But I will say that the unique thing about this particular “wrong guy” was that he was clearly a samskara, that is, a karmic imprint. To the point that when I introduced him to my sister, she turned to me and said, “Oh, it’s X” That is, the man I had had a crush on when I was 10 years old. I had called into my arcline the very projection—physical manifestation and character—of a man I’d had a childhood crush on 25 years prior. All of my attachment, all of my fantasy, all of my expectations, wishes and dreams were wound up in a particular form and projection—and I had called him in. And my sister named it the moment she laid eyes on him. This particular samskara burned so hot and fast that I was pure bone by the end of it. It was a gift; just not the gift I expected. It was a cleansing, a purification, of the highest order. I often think back to those days when I was filled with hope and I practiced those Sopurkhs with such devotion. And I’m grateful actually. Because even though the practice didn’t bring me my God-man, the samskara of that attachment burned me so completely that when my own God-man finally arrived (after practicing Mangala Saaj Bhai-aa) I was clear. Crystal clear. There was nothing of me to get in the way. It was pure surrender. And now I occasionally do Sopurkhs for my husband to support his grace and his strength as a man—my very own God-man. So, by all means, practice Sopurkhs for the men in your life. But be cautious about practicing it in order to call a man into your life because the purification that the divine requires in order to actually manifest as your very own God-man can be the most painful process you’ll ever encounter. Still—I have to say, when my God-man did come, I couldn’t have envisioned who and what he is to me. He is 100, no a 1000 times more, than I would have ever had the courage to ask for. So in the end, maybe it was worth it. But don't say I didn't warn you!


Post a Comment

<< Home