Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: Life's Polarities

Friday, June 15, 2007

Life's Polarities

As yogis, we are to see beyond the polarities. To do this, we have to master the play of those same polarities--laugh in the face of pain, cry in the face of ecstasy.

An example from my recent past: When I got the call from Spirit Voyage that I was being offered the contract from the "idol" contest last summer, I cried. And after having my emotional release, the first thing I said to myself was, "now, some people are going to hate me for no reason." Because I understand that with praise comes blame; with success comes everything else.

Another example: I come home from recording this album--which I'm so happy about and which came together with such ease, Sahaj--and the next day I fell in love. What could be better? Right? Success and happiness in every sphere of my life; but remember the polarity. Now--just days before my cd-release party on Monday when I should be so excited--the other part of the equation, this love that I'm so sure of in my own heart, is so far from sahaj, from easy. And it may yet disintegrate before my very eyes, even as I sing "The One I Love" this coming Monday night. And without my even knowing why. Which is often the case--we don't know the why's and the wherefore's, for years sometimes.

The love of course doesn't disintegrate--just the vehicle I'm so attached to. So even in that, I can see the polarity and the game of life playing within me and around me. I will continue to love--and perhaps that's what this entire play is about--teaching me to love so openly and freely and so completely without expectation of return that I burst open, beyond all my doubts, all my insecurities, all my childhood pain, and just love--the BIG LOVE. Not this small, little animal love that attaches itself to this big, beautiful man, my African Prince, the archetype dreamed up in my 10-year old psyche and held onto for soooo many years, that suddenly appeared, to what? To manifest as a dream fulfilled, a family, a life, a beloved; or a test--I still don't know the answer to that question and it's really none of my business--that rests in God and Guru. But I do know that I'm learning the Big Love. The Love that no longer discerns who is worthy or unworthy, that no longer hears praise and blame, that no longer sees deformity or beauty--just breathes and with each breath chooses to stay, to remain, wide open as the West Texas sky.

I pray for an open heart
I pray for dreams fulfilled
I pray for love realized
in all its forms
I pray that my inner 10-year old girl
gets her family, her life, her beloved
I pray for my prince to come to me
but most of all
I pray to be free
and with each breath
to simply be


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