Time FliesWell, it's been over a month since I last wrote. Busy, busy, busy. But I was reminded today that people read this blog--so I should do my part by writing!
What to say though? Ode to lost love? Backlog of movie reviews? Speculation about the economy? Report on work in progress? Missive about how exhausted I am--all the time?
They all seem, how to say it . . . mundane. Inspiration has eluded me; and clearly eludes me still. Hence--no entries of late. But I will say that despite how small my life feels sometimes; I know, somewhere in my bones, that it's bigger than I can even imagine. I've had those moments. I'll have them again. And in the grinding routine that is my life lately, I know I'm in that moment, even now.
How can I know this? Because I remind myself how extraordinary this journey is--and how rare it is to be here. At times, my awareness of the divine would depend on something as simple as a warm breeze passing against my cheek while I waited at the bus stop. Other times, I've experienced the extraordinary beauty of the universe--and laughed. In between there's been music, long walks, the perfect chocolate bar, homemade soup, brief attempts at love, and other sundry human delights.
I will most likely never have the life that other people lead--husband, children, grandchildren--but the life I have is filled with another kind of love, a love beyond kinship or tribe or nationality. A love that is both lonely and raw and exposed, and exquisite and subtle and sublime. A love that expresses itself on my breath and over my tongue, through my voice. A love that reminds me not what I want or need but what I have to give. A love so fierce that it takes my breath away. A love that cannot stay, yet has nowhere to go.
So--what do all these ramblings of mine mean? And do they serve any purpose? Only to remind you that this love is within you, too.
open your arms
and in the pure joy
of a child greeting the sun
and remember how big