Ten YearsI recently returned to Seattle for my 10-year sobriety anniversary. Hard to imagine that 10 years have gone by--also hard to imagine that at 10 years sober, I'm still struggling with some of the things that have been part of my life style and habit patterns since I was a kid. But 10 years is also a great time to mark that new beginning--a new level of sobriety--a deeper layer of the onion.
I never really related to the physiological dimensions or characteristics of alcoholism. I stayed sober despite that--but it just didn't connect. But the more I struggled with sugar and what it did to my moods and my behaviors, the more I began to seek some new understanding. When I read the description of and behavior patterns of sugar-sensitive people, I thought, wow--this is me. This is who I am--and for the first time I began to relate to the physiological nature of my dis-ease. I recognized the impact it was making on my life, my identity and my consciousness.
So with 10 years under my belt, I relate to my body and its manifestations of compulsion and mood swings in a whole new way--and I'm experiencing a level of freedom I have longed for--for years!
In much the same way my teacher 10 years ago said to me about becoming vegetarian, "it's just a decision"; so too, my new mentor said to me, "do you want to live this way or not?" And with that challenge, I made the decision to no longer participate in the cycles that sugar takes me through--the depression, the misery, the agitation. I want to participate in my own life again--and today, I might just have a chance.
It will take time to establish this new pattern; but I've talked about it long enough. Yogi Bhajan often used to say, "just drop it and move on". I think I've reached that point.
May we all have the courage to live
and to live fully
may we leave behind those things that
harm -- and may we welcome with
open arms those things that truly bring us
May we love ourselves that we may
May we be at peace
in our bodies
in our hearts
in our minds
and in our spirit
May we be happy