Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: Our Stories

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

Our Stories

I love to read. It's one of my many facets--bookworm, librarian, nerd, whatever you want to call it. I love stories. Hearing people's stories (I'm a devotional listener), reading stories, both fiction and non-fiction, and even lately, a little genre fiction (sci-fi and mysterY) are at times the dream weekend--a pile of books, a cup of tea (or coffee), and no plans.

When it comes to my own story, though, I'm a bit reluctant. Am I reading the right lines? Am I doing the right thing? Am I really being honest with myself--and others? Solstice week was very hard for lots of reasons, but the one that hit closest to home was my own story being upended. All my blocks, every obstacle, removed--as if it were nothing, as if it hadn't been a part of my identity my entire life, as if it weren't the root of my being--as if it were so much fluff from a dandelion riding on the breath and the wishes of a young woman. With one phrase my entire story changed. My entire consciousness shifted. And when that story changed, it demanded all the other stories shift their alliance and allegiance as well.

I realized that whatever the future holds--whether my love is fulfilled in a lifelong relationship, or not--it cannot be dependent on a 10-year-old's story line. It must arise from the present moment--this breath and this one and this one--this smile, this kindness, this tender word, this caring gesture, this direct and honest response, and this open heart.

I realized my antar, my essence. I learned that when I'm in my power, love and intuition and compassion flow freely from me like water from an artesian well. I also learned that it's okay to be loved in return. So, I meditate on d breathing this breath--with no apologies for living and existing. So I soar on the subtle wave of my voice. So I rest in my identity--and drop my stories. Leave it to the 'real' writers -- smile.

May we all be blessed
with the recognition of
the present moment
the gift of now
the spontaneous arising of joy
that is every breath

May we all know that love
is already within us
there is nothing to be found
or sought for, or fought for
only rest within the truth
that is every breath

May we all relax
and be ourselves
and gently, on tip-toes
approach the places that scare us
that places that we call
failure, shame, and blame--not enough
and may we rejoice in being 'too much'.


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