Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: Akal

Wednesday, December 05, 2007


This past weekend, someone in our community died of an overdose. It has triggered a lot of emotions in me. But primarily, it's made me look again at the mind of the addict. I am one, so I have a not-so-neutral perspective on it all.

The relentlessness of the mind of an addict in seeking oblivion is overwhelming to me. The duplicity of the addict is also overwhelming to me. Our ability to twist the truth, manipulate and lie--especially to ourselves--is astounding. I'm recognizing it at entirely new levels within myself as far as relationships are concerned. It's a whole new territory to witness the games our mind's play. I used to believe the worst feeling in the world was being played; but now I realize that I play myself all the time.

The polarity of the experience of the addict is part of this entire conversation. We long to merge; but instead of merging with ourselves, with the God, we lose ourselves in other people. We long to experience union; but instead of using the mind to elevate to union and shuniya, we allow drugs and alcohol to take us toward oblivion. How to teach the addict to manage the polarities? How to escape the duality?

People have been saying how good he looked the days before he died. And it's true. And that's probably what's most painful of all: We can look so good on the outside and still be dying on the inside.


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