Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: Chop Wood Carry Water

Monday, July 07, 2008

Chop Wood Carry Water

One of my favorite sayings from Buddhism goes something like this: What do you do to attain enlightenment? Chop wood and Carry water. What do you do once you've attained enlightenment? Chop wood and Carry water.

So here I am chopping wood and carrying water....the post breakthrough period has been challenging, if not a little disappointing. My obsessive thoughts and attachment have reared their ugly heads again--and it's so painful to witness it after feeling so incredibly free of them....sigh. But this is the discipline: receive the grace but continue the sadhana. Continue cleaning the mind, sweeping the thoughts, discerning the truth, and projecting the positive.

At least on this side of the breakthrough I have the courage to just confront the perception, ask the hard question, and trudge along the rocky road of accepting the reality: "You're not the one." --or as the famous book title says, "he's just not that into you." (smile)

All it means is that I continue to get to look at my part--my controlling nature, my wanting what I want when I want it because I want it, in short, my attachment. And it's not just this person, or this unique situation, it's me!!! I can't get around it. This is what I do. So I just touch base, soften, and let it go. Tough base, soften, and let it go. Offer up a prayer for him and for myself, touch base, soften some more, and let it go. Jap! (Repeat).

He asked me today, "do you think it's from your head or from your heart--this feeling you have?" and I had to reply, my heart. I still love him--after everything, in spite of everything. Yet how much of that 'love' is truly love--the wish for him to be happy--and how much of it is attachment? Wanting what I want and the fear of not getting it. If anything, it engenders a lot of compassion--for myself and for him.

May we all breathe in the sweetness
that is life, that is love

May we all place ourselves upon a star
and see the world
as a ray of light

May the love we long for
bloom like a rose
from within

May those we love
enjoy our sweetness, our fragrance
wafting on the wind

for you don't have to be picked
you don't even have to be seen
you just have to love and be loved
to participate in the miracle
that is this life, this love


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