Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: Valentine's Day

Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Valentine's Day

" . . . is over." Used to be my theme song. This is the first Valentine’s Day in more than 10 years that I’ve had a Valentine, and still, I have to “Be Mine” first—and always.

“The heart center means, warmth, compassion, passion, kindness, hatred--everything which is wonderful in the world and everything which is rotten on the planet--they all come from the heart center. If you set your heart on something, your head will give in, that’s why it is the most powerful center and extremely dangerous. On the other hand, this is the only center worth living with. . . .

There are millions of expressions which relate to the heart. But still we mess up our life, mostly because of the heart, because this center controls passion. Anytime passion is not controlled for human intuition, it will bring destruction; it’s a law that I can’t change.”

–© The Teachings of Yogi Bhajan, February 12, 1991

Since meeting my fiancé, I’ve been writing a lot about love. I used to write a lot about love lost; now I write about what it takes to keep it. And the words of Yogi Bhajan are my ever present guide, in ways both big and small.

I came across this quote recently and realized that unless I come into a better relationship to this very powerful center, I didn’t stand a chance of containing and maintaining my future marriage. My life up to now has been lived under the painful blows of this hammer—intuition versus passion. I’ve always allowed my passions to rule; and I’ve paid a heavy toll. At this point in my life, I have witnessed so many relationships blow up in my face that I of course come to this one with a fair amount of trepidation, along with a few triggers and no little baggage. And as I observe myself, once again falling in love, and once again experiencing all the insecurity and doubt, along with the anger and frustration, I wonder, Do I have what it takes? And in that moment I remember these words, “this is the only center worth living with.”

And what does it mean to live with my own heart center—and within my own heart center? Does it mean being open-hearted? Yes—but only to myself. Does it mean experiencing passion? Yes—but only for myself. Does it mean feeling angry? Yes—but only with myself. Does it mean diving into the depths of compassion? Yes—but for me, for the scared little girl inside me who’s afraid of being lost but doesn’t quite know how to allow herself to be found either. The bottom line is that it’s an inside job. If I can accept and love and forgive all these things within me, then I can accept and love and forgive all these things in others, including my beloved. The beat of the heart is an ever-continuous call to the soul, Be mine, Be mine, Be mine. It is the rhythm of a life lived from the very center of our being.

So now, every time I hear the question, Do I have what it takes?, I know I’m simply doubting my own capacity to be with myself—to “Be Mine”. The mirror that is love and relationship is fathomless. And diving into those deep waters is scary; I don’t care how brave you believe yourself to be, or how much practice you’ve had in the past. When you dive into love, that dive is endless. There is no bottom; “there is no beginning and no end.” And so I realize that any insecurity I experience today or tomorrow is about my own fear of death, of Infinity; and my attachment to ego, who I believe I am, versus who the Guru, the Infinite within, is calling me to be. It gives these words we so often hear on Valentine’s Day, “Be Mine,” a whole new meaning.

Hear the rhythm of your own heart. Be with the rhythm of the self. Sing the song of the soul—and maybe, just maybe, someone will hear your song and want to sing along. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Speaking of hearing your song. . . check out the beginnings of my new album, Love & Other Miracles, at my new website:

This post originally appeared on Spirit Voyage's Blog, February 2012.


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