the mysteryI've been telling the story of my recent engagement a lot over the past few days. And no one, not even those outside of this path, has said to me--"that sounds crazy"--when, if it were me listening to this story, that's the first thing I would say! It makes me feel that somehow this thing that has happened to me is bigger than just me and my fiance; it represents an archetypal desire within people to follow their heart, to live beyond the rational, logical world to dwell in the mystery.
Women in general are supposed to "keep their mystery" but I've never really known what that meant. In the course of navigating myself through this new relationship, I'm beginning to get a taste of what it might mean. I can't reveal everything; not because he "can't take it" but rather because in exposing everything, I would lose something greater than all of it put together. As women we have to keep something, just a little something, for ourselves. This glowing ember of self is what keeps our flame of creativity lit. We can always return to its warmth and we can always look to it to rejuvenate and rebuild our self when the world outside grows too raucous and demanding. It is this quiet, still flame that is the mystery in each of us--the source of creation.
And it is this same mystery that I call "living in the flow", sahaj, hukam, there are a hundred words for this experience that is essentially surrender of my own will to what is--which is always a mystery. Can we explain why we're breathing in this moment? Can we explain tragedy? Or bliss? Can we explain the miracle that is a baby's skin? or the touch of a lover? Can we explain the joy we feel when we smell damp sage on a desert morning? or the sound of the ocean? The mystery is all around us, all the time; but when something extraordinary happens, somehow we feel that we're experiencing the mystery for the very first time.
Awaken to the mystery. Surrender to what is. And listen deeply to your heart. You might just hear a song of tomorrow. . . .