So much lifeso little time. . . . there is something happening within me that is hard to describe. An elevation, a pure happiness whose origin I'm unaware of. It's a rich time here in the community: lots of meetings, lots of visitors, the celebration of Guru Ram Das' Birthday with chanting in the evenings, the extraordinary fall weather here in N. New Mexico. I walked into the opening gurdwara for Khalsa Council last night and a friend from New York asked me later--"What was that big smile on your face for?" and I didn't have an answer. Although I will admit that watching everyone come into the gurdwara for KC always feels like some grand parade, a spectacle of elegance and shining light in the form of people. People like you and me.
meanwhile my mother has broken her hip and had surgery this week. It's brought up a lot of 'stuff' in me: fear, anxiety, insecurity but also courage and faith and hope. To face the aging of your parents is scary and yet, it's not about me, the child (not that I'm not affected by it). It's about serving them. In the middle of feeling so lost and scared a friend looked me in the eye and said "You can do it. It's your attachment to who they were that keeps you in fear of serving them as they are now. You can do it because you love them and if the tables were turned, they would do it for you." And it was like I'd gotten a booster shot of courage. I knew that I could--despite my fear, my vulnerability, their vulnerability.
Love in its many forms is informing my life today--perhaps that is the origin of my happiness. Or perhaps it's simply being with this breath, and this one, and this one, and smiling along the way.