Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: Hope to hope

Thursday, January 03, 2008

Hope to hope

I had a conversation with my teacher the other day about hope. How relentless it seems to be in my psyche. How I can't seem to drop it. And how painful I find it at the same time. He said, Quit hoping in something outside yourself. Be the hope. At the time I didn't find it very helpful or soothing to the bitterness that's been burrowing itself inside me lately. But as I've meditated on it, I realize it's just another mirror in the long hall of illusions that is me seeking something outside myself for fulfillment and happiness. I find hope so insipid and 'hopeless' because I'm hoping for something outside of me. So of course, the remedy is to quit hoping and instead, be the hope. I believe Ghandi said, be the change you want to see. Yogiji said, if you have no hope, be the hope. In my case, if you are deluded by doubt and hope keeps rearing its ugly head to take you on yet another trip, another fantasy, another illusion of happiness, take up your sword and chop its head off. Kill the buddha. There is no hope outside of you. Just as there is no buddha outside of you.

So, I'm meditating on what it means to quit hoping and be the hope.

I hope it turns out all right (smile).


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