Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: To Be To Be

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

To Be To Be

My spiritual name means True Being Beloved of God. The nature of this name, its inherent quality, is a stillness, a sense of ever residing peace and tranquility. Yet inside, I'm this little girl running around frantically searching for someone to love me. "Do you love me? Does he love me? Will you love me?" This frantic searching outside of myself for that magical 'something' has led me to accept things in the name of love which aren't love at all.

So, my test today is to stay still. To do nothing. To notice when my mind and my heart begin their habitual search and to pull them back; command them to come home; remind them that there's nothing to be found that isn't already here, within me.

In a way, I think the experiences I've had over the past few months have led me exactly here. This is my grace, whether it feels like it or not. To finally see myself. To quit running. To just stop, take a deep breath, and look. Look at my fear, look at my pattern, look at myself and love--love me.


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