Six Degrees of Separation
I know I should be writing about politics or the upsets in Sunday's football games--these are my typical topics of conversation. But lately, I've been so deeply enmeshed in my own personal healing process that it seems to be all that I can write about.As a student of yoga, we 'believe' in karma; we intellectually discuss the impact of past lives; and we generally accept it as an explanation of how life works. And until recently, that's what it has remained for me--an intellectual, philosophical exercise. I had vague sensations of possible past-life experiences but nothing I could put my finger on. And even today, I can easily write-off what has happened as my creative imagination contributing to a story that helps me make sense of how I feel and helps me move toward how I want to feel--free! But with all the caution aside, I'm simply going to write about my experience. Take it or leave it.
I have never let things go easily. I hang on--to the bitter end it seems--even in the face of how much pain it causes both myself and the other person. So lately, I've been overcome, yet again, with my tremendous remorse at the loss of my 'beloved.' And I continue to ask, why am I sooo attached to him, to the idea of our being together, to the reality--in my heart of hearts--that he's my husband. I know intellectually that it's not happening; that it's not going to go down that way; that it's over. So--why?
I took this question to one of my healers today. And we went somewhere that I didn't expect to go. I don't 'believe' in past life regressions. I don't 'believe' in recovered memory. I generally don't 'believe' in any of the things that accompany this type of esoteric therapy. Nevertheless, we went down the road together and creative imagination or true past-life recall doesn't really matter. I had a tremendous experience that will, I hope, lead to a greater understanding of my grief, my panic, and my shock at the loss of him--again.
You see, he is my husband, or rather, he was. We were a family; but we were separated in a tragic and brutally violent way. The details are a bit too gruesome to share here--just imagine the most violent scenes from a war movie you've seen and you'll get a taste of it. It's not the details that matter anyway, it's the relief I feel now. The compassion I have for him and for myself for what we witnessed together--and the forgiveness I experienced by witnessing it again: forgiving myself for not being able to save our children and forgiving him for not being able to save me.
I see his photo now and I just smile, remembering how much love we had. I'm still a little shook at the vision I had--the terror we experienced together. But I can see now that we're here, in each other's lives again, not to relive it--the good or the bad--but rather to help one another heal and move on. So I'm sending him love and light and I'm allowing myself to let go and let God.
The mystery is great
and the chasm is deep.
Shine the light in the dark places
forgive what you can
and merge with God
for that is the only true healing
we can know
posted by Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa @ 3:35 PM
4 Comments:
Past lives. Sure karma's of past lives will have an impact on us because karma is only thing we carry with us, which could be from present time or from the past life and even into the next life.
When I was in india at a boarding school. During our summer holidays I used to go visit my relatives in the villages for two months because my parents were in Canada.
During my summer holiday visit at my relatives village I was astonished to know that 4 year old girl could remember her past life. Making long story short, She could even remember name of each family member from the past. For example, husband's name, father in law and mother in law as well as other relatives.
She was able to tell the name of the city where she was from her past life and exactly what happened to her and to her husband.
At first her present parents got scared but then they went to confirm what she had mentioned several times. When her parents went and they mentioned her past life father-in laws name the people of that small town or city pointed towards his house. Her parents were surprised that the description of the house that their daughter had given exactly matched.
Their daughter also told her parents before they went out to confrim her story that She hanged a bag of certain color on the hook before both of them left the house and died in an accident.
When her parents approached her past life father in law he confirmed the story and the name of her husband. Her father-in law kept his son's room exactly the way it was before they went out of the home.
So, when her parents entered her bedroom they found a hand bag hanging on the wall.
However, By the age of six she began to forget lot of details and stopped talking about the past lifetime. Now, she does not even remeber what she had said when she was four years old.
Therefore, Past life Karmas are with us, we come to this world to finish our jobs it may take one or thousands of births. That's why we meditate and try become one with that ultimate power so that our karma cycle is cut out and then we are free.
But in order to be free. we have to learn to live in Presence. Becasue Past and future are not in our hands. But the actions commited in the presence will shape our future and also our karma's.
So, if we keep on pondering on the past and keep on searching for answers why this happened and why that happened then eventually its going to lead us into darkness. Then in darkness into the pit of depression and then we keep on slipping back in the depression pit because we keep on searching for answers in the darkness.
We need to let go of everything that happened in the past. And try to change our present time so we can live in present and live to the fullest.
I have seen children in this world whose parents who passed away and they have no true support for the entire life. Realizing this I thank that creative power for providing me parents etc.....
We cannot have an explanation for everything and even if we try then we may get lost and get derailed from our true path.
So, Live this life to the fullest and enjoy it! We cannot find answers to why?
Gurinder "G"
Sat purkh kaur ji,
Please click on these links or cut and paste and read shabad:
http://www.sikhnet.com/GurbaniKirtan/tr_0445.html
http://www.sikhnet.com/GurbaniKirtan/tr_0448.html
http://www.sikhnet.com/GurbaniKirtan/tr_1069.html
please take your time to read
Gurinder "G"
Thank you G.
I don't mean to dwell on the dark places; but it is a part of my finding the light. I appreciate your sending me the shabd links. To be honest, it's the first time I've been willing to approach the guru's word throughout the past few weeks. So, I thank you for bringing me back to the feet of the guru. Even though as i write this I resist it....ah the workings of the ego.
Many thanks too for your story.
blessings, spkk
"By dark places" I meant when we are in depression and we continously keep on thinking about something negative or we cannot let go of the past becasue of continual process of thinking at a static point in relative to time.
Our mind becomes a dark place. We become resistant to change or to accept the facts that have occured in our life and move on. Always think about good times of the past and then try to have even greater good times at present and so on.
Gurinder "G"
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