ShuniyaLast night I was looking into the Tratakum and experiencing a lot of anger and resentment. I was basically giving the universe the big bird. And in the middle of my emotional turmoil, I began to laugh. My life in so many ways has become an absurdist's play. Struggle and pain and tears--and it's all just in my head. Nothing is happening--and yet everything is happening all at once.
As I heard myself laugh, I realized that as natural as it is to desire; and as insistent as my mind clings to the notion of being desireless, desire is inherent even in that! No, the solution is to empty myself. Shuniya is my only solution to myself, my wants, my needs, my attachment, my addictions, all of it. The never-ending want machine that is m my mind just has to stop. Take a breath. Practice gratitude. And then empty itself again.
It's not exciting. But it is the work. It is the solution to my life today.
Pour yourself out like fine wine
at the feast
Feel yourself barren as the high desert
Remove the cloak and watch it fall
in folds upon the floor
Notice what remains and bring out your broom
and sweep it away
the beginning of all things