Maturity
That's my theme word for the year. I know, I know. It's a little late for new year's themes, but I'm a little slow sometimes. And over the past few weeks, maturity has been a recurrent theme. Maybe it's buying a house, maybe it's giving up on all those unfulfilled dreams of my 20s and 3os, or maybe it's just time, but I finally feel like I'm growing up and part of that growing up is responding to life with a level of emotional maturity that I've never been able to muster before. Now, does that mean that I no longer scream at my computer when it freezes on me or that I'm the picture of patience with a teller that is as slow as molasses on a cold day? No. I'm still me. But in general, I'm making an effort to respond in a more mature way--to my friends, to my family, and to life in general.I've finally tired of being a brat. Who knew the day would come? May all who know me rejoice. This is a record day! ha! But seriously, it's a big shift internally to even be willing to try. Up to now my attitude has always been 'take me or leave me', which works up to a point; but when it doesn't work, it creates a lot of havoc and a lot of hurt and confusion in relationships.
So, here's to maturity. It kind of feels good to be a grown-up.
posted by Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa @ 2:28 PM
6 Comments:
Nice post with good points.
You are right that we should not react in a knee-jerk fashion rather take a second or two to contemplate on the question while keeping our emotions aside.
All of us, we need to develop emotional intelligence, where we tend to keep our ego under our control.
I used to flare up easily in my 20's but slowly learnt to think differently and not to react with anger.
Back home in Canada in my 20's I got a job to swing the bridge open to let yachts pass through. It was a fun job. The entire process of opening and closing the bridge would take at least 4-5minutes. And this bridge was link to the international airport, so for car drivers waiting 4 minutes in their cars will get their blood pressure through the roof. And when they would drive by the controller they would yell words like F@#$ and especially if you have brown skin then sologans would be more terrifying.
Anyways, one thing that my trainer told me that I have to act as GOD. I asked him, what does he really mean that I have to act like God.
He replied back, If someone yells or screams at God with bad language what kind of response do you get back?
I said, Silence. God does not react to it.
Trainer said, exactly this is the way you need to act like God, and keep your emotions away and be silent. After a while you will feel the power of being silent and not reacting back in anger.
At first it felt funny. But it really worked everytime. This is how I learned to control my ego and also the psyche of other people.
In the past, I used to think that if I don't react back vigrously then people are going to think that I'm weak. But I learned that strength is in controlling our emotions and walking away from the conflict or avoiding it.
Gurinder "G"
I also feel like maturity has a lot to do with treatment of other people. I would say my definition of maturity is: respect for yourself and others, and practical life experience.
I remember when I was about 22, a woman who was about 32 said I was still a kid. I asked her, by what measure was I still a child? I was physically an adult, I had been financially independent for a few years, I had a college degree and a real job, and I gave respect to people. She didn't have an answer she just said I was still a kid. Then I found out that she still lived off her dad's money at 32!
I think people find my ability to have fun and be light-hearted as something childish. I will never stop playing, that's part of who I am. So I will stick with my level of maturity. Acting responsible and respectful and having fun when the time is right.
To me immaturity is not having fun, it is being disrespectful to yourself and others. Challenging authority, just because they're an authority. Making fun of everybody just because you might be smarter. Expecting to get things that you didn't earn. Immaturity does take its toll.
I have the same feeling about my dress and my beliefs, "take it or leave it." But I feel different about my attitude, if I willfully offend somebody, I need to make a change. If we ask everybody "to take us or leave us," and people actually leave for good, we'll eventually have nobody. I personally try not to offend people, but I know I've offended everybody close to me at some point. I'm glad they didn't leave. But even still Guru Ji is the only support I depend on. I like other support, but I know even the best people are maybe 80% there for us. Guru Ji is 100%, not 99%, a perfect 100% and that is where my true faith and dedication comes from. All my security is God's security. I am thine in mine myself. WaheGuru.
Wow Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa, that's quite a post! All us sisters are so connected. I have to admit, it seems like many of us are going through comparable experiences of major major life shifting, both interally and externally. Like we've all together come to the edge of how far we could go in one format, and we're breaking out of it, to go further, and the future for us all, is vast and the prosperity is enormous. Sorry for all the pain, I've hated seeing you go through so much. I know I'm really contained about expressing my personal emotional experiences with people, but I hope you know that my love and compassion is always with you. I'm also really happy for you, all you've come through. Fateh! Victory, is the only option for us and you exemplify that. God Bless You Ji.
Satpurkh kaur ji
You have not written anything in days. I hope everything is going on well...
Sincerely
Gurinder "G"
Sat Nam G....sorry I've had the flu which really kicked me in the pants.... I'll write soon.
thanks!
Get well soon! take your time to write on something, no rush. I just wanted to know if everything is fine.
Gurinder "G"
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