The Sociopath Next DoorI haven't read this book, but someone told me about it and I recently saw a reference to it; synchronicity always tells me to investigate. So, I'm planning on picking it up soon because I think there's one in my circle of acquaintances and I need to know the signs, if there are clear ones to look for.
As a person who for the most part is pretty open and trusting--and growing more so all the time (despite recent circumstances)--it's hard to imagine the kind of mind that can lie so blatantly to another person, especially someone they claim to care about. It leads me to believe that perhaps they don't even know they're lying. Perhaps their reality is so split that they can say one thing to one person and another to another and believe that 'neither the twain shall meet.' Or perhaps it is cold-hearted manipulation? Who can say? But perhaps this book will shed a little light on the kind of personality that is capable of such duplicity.
Of course, I have a bit of experience with lying myself. As a recovered addict, I discovered how much I was lying to myself, to others, and didn't even realize it. DENIAL--don't even know I am lying. The first words out of my mother's mouth when I told her I was getting sober were: "Thank God--you were always such a liar." Needless to say this came as a shock to me, but over the coming weeks, months, and years, I've learned how much I lied to myself and others. How deeply ingrained the habit of my mind was. In fact, the first time I said I would do something and then did it was like a revelation to me--the key to integrity and aligning myself with myself. It was amazing! And even now, I lie to myself. I don't see the things I don't want to see; I don't trust the inner voice; I rebel. And it is that self-centered rebellion that dogs me. That makes me slip up. That takes me out of integrity.
May the rebellion dogs
lie still at the foot of the fire
May the eyes be wide open
and may the flaming sword
cut away all deception
May the heart be soft enough
to hear the unstruck sound
May the Self align
with the Higher Self