Greetings from the Land of Enchantment

The things we say

As men and women I think we have very different approaches to communication. I tell everything to my girlfriends, well, not everything. But almost everything. Men on the other hand, say very little. I used to wonder how my mom could stand how silent my father was until she said to me, Well, darling, he talks to me!

There are some things that I feel like I would burst if I didn't share, wheras a man could never speak of it--ever. Interesting the social nature of problem solving for women versus the solitary reflection of the man. I admire both skills.

Then, of course, there are the ways we communicate to each other--not just to our friends and family. What do you say or not say to your partner? I haven't been in a relationship in a loooong time, so my "what to say" meter is a bit rusty. I just speak from my heart and then backpeddle later. What a man considers a confrontation, I consider an interesting observation. I've got a lot to learn, to say the least. I've always been a bit intimidating, I'll admit. But it never occurs to me in the moment. I believe I'm just stating my position, or being honest, or inquiring into the root of the problem; meanwhile, the man has this glazed look on his face, or worse, he looks angry or withdrawn.

Yogi Bhajan taught that a man shuts down after 9 minutes--and you never know why, until it's no longer relevant because you've both moved on. So, the key is to apologize quickly, forgive easily, and never assume it's about you.

posted by Sat Purkh Kaur Khalsa @ 3:54 PM