Greetings from the Land of Enchantment: fast forward--rewind--play

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

fast forward--rewind--play

The adventures of falling in love are myriad: confusion, miscommunication, fun, laughter, and yes, some pain. Falling in love fast means all that plus the potential for a major crash; that's why I'm so grateful I live in a spiritual community--when you're headed over the bridge, there's a guard rail there to pull you back from calamity and point you back in the right direction.

There is a belief system in the culture that supports taking time. Time between relationships; time between heartbreaks; Time, Time, Time. That in some way time alone will be the cure all. I've clung to this idea for years. My teacher, in turn, directed us toward another option. He said, you can either allow the cycles of time to determine your action or you can proceed from what you know in timelessness--or something to that effect. Basically saying that time isn't the primary factor--identity, consciousness, and will are what really matters--and, of course, love.

As we sat and discussed how we feel, what our experience with each other has been, how our pasts contribute to how we relate, our families, our goals--everything--I realized that I could finally relax. We weren't hurtling off into space and we weren't backing away from what was happening--we were just in the moment, experiencing the joy of being together and relishing the thought of our future.

Afterwards, my beloved said to me: Why were you going to let me take a break? I didn't want to; you didn't want to. And I realized that with this man I can just say what I need and want--and even though he may not always like it, he will remain to listen and to love and to lead us toward the good. And I'm grateful to know this, so early on; and I'm practicing trusting it.


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